以后这个小渣渣找工作也就别当工程师、码农了，就写写网络段子吧。干啥啥不行，搞笑第一名。

大无语事件——七班门口的课程表

现代文版

8班和7班是邻居。

8班的人经常晃着晃着就到了7班门口。

本文的主人公是两个高个子大聪明，我们暂且称他们为一哥和楷。

这件事情由楷开始。接着上文，楷晃着晃着就到了7班门口，发现了一把三角尺，一把插在7班课程表里的三角尺。由于8班的人品格都很高尚，楷想着帮着7班把三角尺取出来。这时，已经有很多人过来围观了，其中包括一哥。

楷当时手里并没有工具，又怕等拿了工具就上课了，于是开始人工取尺。由于不够专业，技术有限，楷误把7班的课程表揪了出来。这时，他又发现了什么。一枚一元钱硬 币！全场顿时沸腾，全部目光落在了那枚硬 币上。上课铃也看到了硬 币，由于过于兴奋，下意识地响了一声。楷失望地望了课程表最后一下，扭头走了。一哥停留了几秒，也走了。

但是他们是8班的！8班的人遇到困难是不会轻易放弃的！中午，楷和一哥”全副武装”，再次来到7班门口。他们眼睛里放着坚定自信的光芒，手里握着尺子，紧盯着课程表。尺子被伸进去，慢慢地向三角尺逼近......

一转眼，一把尺子卡了进去。

又一转眼，又一把尺子卡了进去。

两个人还是盯着课程表的方向。但是这次，他们盯的是他们的尺子。

8班的人投来同情的目光。

7班的人投来诧异的目光。

7班的班主任给予他们死亡的凝视。

8班的班主任给予他们尴尬的眼神。

场景切换，楷和一哥在卖力地掏尺子。

场景再一换。7班的课程表里有三把尺子，一把7班的，两把8班的。

还有一枚一元钱硬 币。

 

文言文版

八班，七班之芳邻也，其人常荡至七班家门。

一日，思楷与诺一荡至七班家门。楷觉一尺，拥三角，插七班课表内。八班之人，德行高乎。楷欲助七班，试取其尺。众人围之。

楷其时无利器，怕得之时已无机，乃自取之。误取其课表，又觉一币。众人欢之，皆望其币。立时，铃响之，楷失望而归。一停而望少顷，随楷归之。

但其人为八班矣！八班之人不因一败而弃之矣！午时，楷与一得利器，欲再试。一曰：“锲而不舍者，成矣。”楷插其利器入七班课表，一仿之。利器入表，临三角尺旁。

少倾之间，一尺卡之。

又过少倾，别尺亦卡之。

七班诧异乎，其师怒之。八班惊乎，其师尬之。

几时后，楷与一试取其尺，未成。

日后，七班之课表藏三尺。一属七班，二属八班。

且藏一币。

English version.

Class 8 and Class 7 are nei**ors.

The students in Class 8 often wander in the doorway outside Class 7.

The main characters of this article are two tall, “smart” boys in Class 8. We call them Yi and Kai for now.

The whole story starts with Kai. One day, Kai was wandering in the doorway. Suddenly, he found a triangular ruler in Class 7’s curriculum. As we all know, the students in Class 8 are virtuous, so Kai wanted to do Class 7 a big favour. He wanted to get the triangular ruler out for them. A lot of students had gathered around to watch by then, including Yi.

Kai didn’t have any tools at that moment. He was afraid that when he got one, the next class would have begun. In the end, he decided to try to get the ruler out by himself. He didn’t have any experience, of course, so he took the curriculum out by mistake. But, he found something behind the curriculum. A coin! The students yowled and cheered as they saw the coin. The bell seemed to have noticed the coin too, for it rang in excitement. Kai was very disappointed. He lowered his head and headed back to his classroom. Yi hesitated for a moment, then followed.

But they are from Class 8! The students from Class 8 never give up for one failure! At noon, Kai and Yi “get armed” and returned. We could see confidence in their shimmering eyes as they hold their tools----long rulers, tight in their hands. Their gaze were right on the curriculum. Slowly, they put their rulers in the curriculum, reaching for the triangular ruler......

A few moments later, a ruler was stuck.

Another few seconds passed, another ruler was stuck.

The boys’ gaze were still in the direction of the curriculum. But this time, they were staring at their rulers.

Students from Class 8’s eyes were full of sympathy.

Students from Class 7’s eyes were full of astonishment.

The teacher of Class 7 gave them furious glares.

The teacher of Class 8 stared at them awkwardly.

A few minutes later, we could see Kai and Yi trying hard to get their rulers out.

Days passed, and then, we can see three rulers in Class 7’s curriculum. One from Class 7, two from Class 8.

And a lonely coin.