英语写作---五感描述法进阶版2.0

VivianAn · 发表于 2018-11-16 22:23

本帖最后由 VivianAn 于 2018-11-16 22:37 编辑

前文提过用五感来做记叙，但是之前那篇作文使用的描述性词句还是比较贫乏和单调。
然后是vipkid L5最后一单元的写作，又选了记叙你去过印象深刻的地方这一主题。娃盼望直接把以前写过的印尼交上去被我否决，于是就准备写一篇Niagara Falls。

首先给他拿了本书来看，NG的ladders其中一本。以前看过的where's Niagara falls 看完被我丢加拿大了，所以又找了本新的。

然后我让他做了一本1年级语法，形容词。希望他能看到描述一件东西时不同的形容词的选择。

然后拿出information passages，第一单元的main ideas 和details ，再次强调details 的重要性。本来想把G2的这一个单元也一起做掉的，但娃造反，于是只做了G1的

接下来我问他，你觉得写Niagara Falls，在5感中能用到哪些呀。然后他觉得可以有see，可以有hear可以有touch(feel)。于是我就在他本子上给他分了4个区域，让他再次拿出看完的ladders，把其中写Niagara Falls他自己想到的和他觉得书里好的相关词语放到四个区域里。

他写的
see的相关词语是
1. info系列 largest falls in the world， three falls Horseshoe American Bridal Veil
2. rainbow, wall of water, hundreds of people

hear的相关词语是
roaring, rumbling, roar, train, yell

feel的相关词语是
感觉 pounding like crazy, excited, glad, awesome sight
触觉 soaking wet, feel spray and mist, cooler, fog, giant rain storm

还有一部分本来想让他写一些amazing facts, 他写在see里头了。

接下来是继续按照beginning, middle, ending写draft，并且把他刚才写下的"好词"穿插到自己的draft里去。他自己的draft 好像被阿姨丢掉了，依然是放荡不羁的草稿体，我怕他看不清给他整理了。

接下来是他的完稿写作时间
花了大约45分钟完成。170多词。

My Trip to Niagara Falls

My name is Peter. This summer I went to Niagara Falls with my mom and my friend. Niagara Falls is the largest water fall in the world. But it's really three water falls, the largest is the Horseshoe Fall, the smaller one is called the American Fall, and the smallest is the Bridal Veil Fall.

First we took a cruise. We wore red raincoats so that we didn't get soaked. When we went nearer, it was cooler and the fog was thicker, it's like in the middle of a giant rain storm. The roaming water was like 100 trains. When we got off the cruise we were soaking wet.

Next we went through a cave to Behind the Falls. There was spray and mist everywhere. The water fall was like a wall of water. I also saw a rainbow hanging over the Falls. It was so loud that we had to yell to talk.

I was very excited to see the awesome sight. Would you like to come to Niagara Falls?

是不是比之前写印尼的那篇又有进步呢？ "好词"在英语里也很重要啊。